Real Retirement Goals

Enough of these financial benchmarks and bucket lists. Though retirement is decades off for me, here is what I want to be sure and have when I retire:

1) I will have absolutely nothing in my pockets ever.
No keys, no access cards, no phones, no pagers, staff IDs, no leaky pens, no business cards, no Blackberries (unless picked fresh). As far as cash, credit cards, house keys and pharmacy savings cards go, I am sufficiently convinced that nanotechnological advances will take care of the need for those items by the time 2038 rolls around. I want empty pockets for all of retirement, with the possible exception of a flipping coin to help me make critical decisions like which ball game to watch or which branch of government to complain about.

2) I will never accidentally dial "9" for an outside line from my home phone.
In fact, I never want to dial a phone at all if I can help it. I want a pin like jean Luc Picard had for communicating across the globe and/or interstellar regions. I wonder how caller ID would work on such a device?

3) I will not be able to discern a Tuesday from a Saturday.
Except by the early bird specials or the mid-afternoon programming line-up. But then again, the future may hold a differnt fate for the traditional M-F workweek. Perhaps it will all blend together and NFL football will be on 7 days a week on channels almost no one will get. Maybe all televison will be on demand and all restaurants will serve 24 hrs of breakfast. Anyway, I never feel more like I am on vacation than when I cannot think of what day it is.

4) I will not have a house payment.
Come hell or high water I will not be 65 and making mortgage payments. I will gladly pay my property taxes and the neighborhood association fees, but I think I've learned enough from the older folks around me when it comes to making home payments at retirement - a burden I can do without. I hope my kids like state universities or encumbering large amounts of debt on their own.